Picture this: It’s a blustery afternoon in Westminster. Thomas Worthington, with his signature tufted hair waving like a confused flag, is seen exiting a discreet black cab. His face sports a satisfied, mysterious smirk. What he’s been up to? No one knows. Until evening, that is, when he passionately delivers a speech on the ‘detrimental effects of the escort industry’ on society, calling for stricter regulations. The irony is so thick you could cut it with a knife and serve it with a side of beans on toast.